The Linkin Series
by AnnaMattsson
Summary: I took the lyrics from some Linkin Park-songs and added the thoughts of Harry Potter characters. I thought their bitterness would fit quite well. R
1. Don't stay

Don't Stay  
  
Author's note: Well, I had to do something with all the creative energy and since I couldn't write on my LOTR-fic, I decided to write this. It's been in my head for some time now, but I never really wrote it down. I think that the bitterness and rage in Linkin Park's lyrics describe quite well how some of the characters can feel and think in the different situations from the books.  
  
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah - not mine, you get my point.  
  
Padfoot thinks about Wormtail after his breakout from Azkaban in POA  
  
[lyrics]  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
[Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe]  
  
I can't believe I let you fool me like this  
  
[Sometimes I need you to stay away from me]  
  
Then, as if your betrayal wasn't big enough, you took me away from what was my responsibility  
  
[Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know]  
  
I should've known it was you  
  
[Somehow I need you to go]  
  
And now that I need you again, will you betray me once more?  
  
~*~  
  
[Don't stay]  
  
Just give me the chance and I'll have my revenge  
  
[forget our memories, forget our possibilities]  
  
Don't expect me to show you mercy  
  
[what you were changing me into]  
  
They think I killed you  
  
[just give me myself back and don't stay]  
  
Nothing can take it back  
  
[forget our memories, forget our possibilities]  
  
He was you idol  
  
[take all your faithlessness with you]  
  
Some day, I'll ask you what you asked me  
  
[just give me myself back and don't stay]  
  
How could you?  
  
~*~  
  
[Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well]  
  
It was my idea  
  
[Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself]  
  
Was it my fault as well?  
  
[Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know]  
  
Was it my betrayal?  
  
[Somehow I need to be alone]  
  
No time to think or you'll slip from my grip again  
  
~*~  
  
[Don't stay]  
  
I'll show you how it feels  
  
[forget our memories forget our possibilities]  
  
Things can never be the same  
  
[what you were changing me into]  
  
He'll think I'm a murderer  
  
[just give me myself back and don't stay]  
  
I won't hide anymore  
  
[forget our memories forget our possibilities]  
  
You are where I should be  
  
[take all your faithlessness with you]  
  
Forgiveness was never an option  
  
[just give me myself back and don't stay]  
  
Give me my life back  
  
~*~  
  
[I don't need you anymore]  
  
I'll kill you and we'll be even  
  
[I don't want to be ignored]  
  
You'll see what I have seen  
  
[I don't need one more day of you wasting me away]  
  
Suffer as I have suffered  
  
~*~  
  
[Don't stay]  
  
I'm closer than you think  
  
[forget our memories, forget our possibilities]  
  
I'm not alone anymore  
  
[what you were changing me into]  
  
He will know the truth now  
  
[just give me myself back and don't stay]  
  
He will see your true form  
  
[forget our memories, forget our possibilities]  
  
Twelve years of self-accusation  
  
[take all your faithlessness with you]  
  
Self-hatred  
  
[just give me myself back and]  
  
Self-pity  
  
[Don't stay]  
  
I saved it all for you 


	2. Numb

Numb  
  
Author's note: This is dedicated to all the "good Draco"-fans out there (even though I don't agree with you, Draco is a slimy, evil little git). If he'd be good, this is how I think he'd feel. (the last chorus is supposed to be repeated, but I decided to skip that because it became too much and I was just ranting on without any ideas, so it didn't turn out well the first time. I hope you won't mind)  
  
Draco thinks about his father and his legacy (feel free to choose when in time)  
  
[lyrics]  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
[I'm tired of being what you want me to be]  
  
You never gave me choice  
  
[Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface]  
  
If I could only make you see the real me  
  
[I don't know what you're expecting of me]  
  
Behind this mask I wear  
  
[Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes]  
  
All you want to see is you  
  
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
  
Please let me out of here  
  
[Every step that I take is another mistake to you]  
  
I can't breathe with you here  
  
~*~  
  
[I've become so numb]  
  
How many times do I have to die?  
  
[I can't feel you there]  
  
How many times are you going to kill me?  
  
[Become so tired]  
  
I can't do this much longer  
  
[So much more aware]  
  
I'm not as strong as you think  
  
[I'm becoming this]  
  
I'm becoming something I hate  
  
[All I want to do]  
  
Something you like  
  
[Is be more like me]  
  
I'm drifting away  
  
[And be less like you]  
  
Into you  
  
~*~  
  
[Can't you see that you're smothering me]  
  
Just leave me alone with myself for once  
  
[Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control]  
  
Let me release the tears  
  
['Cause everything that you thought I would be]  
  
Free me from this pain  
  
[Has fallen apart right in front of you]  
  
Before I break in front of you  
  
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
  
I can't fight back  
  
[Every step that I take is another mistake to you]  
  
I have nowhere else to go  
  
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]  
  
They won't take me in  
  
[And every second I waste is more than I can take]  
  
They won't understand  
  
~*~  
  
[I've become so numb]  
  
Seeing my future in you scares me  
  
[I can't feel you there]  
  
I've waited for a saviour for too long now  
  
[Become so tired]  
  
But I can't save myself any longer  
  
[So much more aware]  
  
I'll die here again  
  
[I'm becoming this]  
  
Until you see that I'm not like you  
  
[All I want to do]  
  
How wonderful to close my eyes  
  
[Is be more like me]  
  
And rest for the rest of eternity  
  
[And be less like you]  
  
Far away from you  
  
~*~  
  
[And I know I may end up failing too]  
  
Some day I'll let you know  
  
[But I know you were just like me]  
  
I'll make you see  
  
[With someone disappointed in you]  
  
What you've seen in you, but never seen in me  
  
~*~  
  
[I've become so numb]  
  
Let me run away  
  
[I can't feel you there]  
  
Let me find myself  
  
[Become so tired]  
  
And I'll betray you for your betrayal  
  
[So much more aware]  
  
I've seen them  
  
[I'm becoming this]  
  
They all have something I don't have  
  
[All I want to do]  
  
True smiles  
  
[Is be more like me]  
  
And I have something they don't have  
  
[And be less like you]  
  
Tears of true pain 


	3. From the inside

From The Inside  
  
Author's notes: Harry decides to practice Occlumency during the summer, figuring it's the least he can do, but can he really get rid of the pain and anger from the loss of Sirius?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
[I don't know who to trust]  
  
He's not coming back  
  
[No surprise]  
  
Is he?  
  
[Everyone feels so far away from me]  
  
All I can think about is his face  
  
[Heavy thoughts sift through dust]  
  
He was laughing  
  
[And the lies]  
  
You stole his laugh from me  
  
~*~  
  
[Trying not to break]  
  
I will seek revenge  
  
[But I'm so tired of this deceit]  
  
I won't give up until you're dead  
  
[Every time I try to make myself]  
  
This time, you won't fool me so easily  
  
[Get back up on my feet]  
  
I will empty myself of you  
  
[All I ever think about is this]  
  
Relieve myself from the disease that is you  
  
[All the tiring time between]  
  
The plague rummaging the land  
  
[And how trying to put my trust in you]  
  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
  
[Just takes so much out of me]  
  
I'll kill you and destroy your strength  
  
~*~  
  
[I take everything from the inside]  
  
No anger  
  
[And throw it all away]  
  
No hatred  
  
['Cause I swear]  
  
No bitterness  
  
[For the last time]  
  
No annoyance  
  
[I won't trust myself with you]  
  
No love  
  
~*~  
  
[Tension is building inside]  
  
No matter what I do  
  
[Steadily]  
  
The image of you stays  
  
[Everyone feels so far away from me]  
  
Seeing you makes me hate again  
  
[Heavy thoughts forcing their way]  
  
Makes me want to scream  
  
[Out of me]  
  
Why does it have to be my responsibility?  
  
~*~  
  
[Trying not to break]  
  
I can't help but lose my temper  
  
[But I'm so tired of this deceit]  
  
When I think of what you've done  
  
[Every time I try to make myself]  
  
What you're going to do  
  
[Get back up on my feet]  
  
They can never understand the pain  
  
[All I ever think about is this]  
  
The frustration I feel  
  
[All the tiring time between]  
  
They won't know until it's too late to tell them  
  
[And how trying to put my trust in you]  
  
When you're dead  
  
[Just takes so much out of me]  
  
Or I'm dead  
  
~*~  
  
[I take everything from the inside]  
  
Am I scared?  
  
[And throw it all away]  
  
Do I feel guilty?  
  
['Cause I swear]  
  
Can I really grasp this?  
  
[For the last time]  
  
Not yet  
  
[I won't trust myself with you]  
  
But soon  
  
~*~  
  
[I won't waste myself on you]  
  
Soon I'll have to face this  
  
[Waste myself on you]  
  
I'll have to face you  
  
[You]  
  
You'll see me for who I am  
  
~*~  
  
[I won't waste myself on you]  
  
After that, we'll be through  
  
[Waste myself on you]  
  
One of us will live  
  
[You]  
  
One of us will conquer  
  
~*~  
  
[I take everything from the inside]  
  
Focus now  
  
[And throw it all away]  
  
I must empty myself again  
  
['Cause I swear]  
  
I must run away from you  
  
[For the last time]  
  
The intrusion in my head must end  
  
[I won't trust myself with you]  
  
For their sake more than mine  
  
[Everything from the inside]  
  
I'm dangerous  
  
[And throw it all away]  
  
You're dangerous through me  
  
['Cause I swear]  
  
Can't I just fall asleep  
  
[For the last time]  
  
Never worry about you again  
  
[I won't trust myself with you]  
  
Never worry about anything again  
  
[You]  
  
I'll kill you some day  
  
[You]  
  
I will 


	4. Breaking the habit

Breaking the Habit  
  
Author's note: This takes place after the final battle (in my version at least). Harry killed Voldemort's human form, but ended up with something worse than both that and his visions: Voldemort's memory and soul. Now, a battle between them takes place within Harry's head. His friends are bewildered and Harry himself is only able to take over his mind short periods at a time. Voldemort still lives inside him.  
  
When I first heard this song, I was sitting on a bus on my way to Poland with my IB-class. The first thought that I thought was Harry Potter. The lyrics just matched an idea I'd had for a few weeks and as I continued to listen, everything fell into place. The lyrics matched how I think Harry would feel in a situation like this, how Voldemort's memories and thoughts would affect him.  
  
In the end, there will be a slight dialogue between Harry and Voldemort, but I'm pretty sure you can make out who's saying what.  
  
Voldemort or Harry thinking  
  
[Lyrics]  
  
"Hermione's voice"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
[Memories consume]  
  
Looking in the mirror, I see someone else  
  
[Like opening the wounds]  
  
Why is he?  
  
[I'm picking me apart again]  
  
What happened to me?  
  
[You all assume]  
  
They don't know me  
  
[I'm safe here in my room]  
  
They think I'm someone else  
  
[Unless I try to start again]  
  
I know who I am  
  
~*~  
  
[I don't want to be the one]  
  
I am the strongest  
  
[The battles always choose]  
  
I am the past and the future  
  
['Cause inside I realize]  
  
I am power itself  
  
[That I'm the one confused]  
  
Aren't I?  
  
~*~  
  
[I don't know what's worth fighting for]  
  
The call me Harry  
  
[Or why I have to scream]  
  
The look at me with pity and sorrow  
  
[I don't know why I instigate]  
  
Sometimes, it's like I feel him in me  
  
[And say what I don't mean]  
  
He's fighting me still  
  
[I don't know how I got this way]  
  
He is so strong  
  
[I know it's not alright]  
  
He wants to kill me  
  
[So I'm breaking the habit]  
  
But I can't die  
  
[I'm breaking the habit]  
  
I can't  
  
[Tonight]  
  
Die  
  
~*~  
  
[Clutching my cure]  
  
Sometimes, he takes over  
  
[I tightly lock the door]  
  
This insolent little boy defeats me for just a few moments  
  
[I try to catch my breath again]  
  
He knows what has happened  
  
[I hurt much more]  
  
He sees the pain in their eyes and warns them  
  
[Than anytime before]  
  
He brings them hope  
  
[I had no options left again]  
  
But there's no hope left  
  
~*~  
  
[I don't want to be the one]  
  
I feel him coming now  
  
[The battles always choose]  
  
I can't fight him  
  
['Cause inside I realize]  
  
He's not a part of me  
  
[That I'm the one confused]  
  
I'm a part of him  
  
~*~  
  
[I don't know what's worth fighting for]  
  
He overpowers me  
  
[Or why I have to scream]  
  
Am I really this weak?  
  
[I don't know why I instigate]  
  
He's almost here  
  
[And say what I don't mean]  
  
I can't resist  
  
[I don't know how I got this way]  
  
He can't grasp the reality that is now  
  
[I'll never be alright]  
  
All the confusion  
  
[So I'm breaking the habit]  
  
All the anger  
  
[I'm breaking the habit]  
  
No love  
  
[Tonight]  
  
Not anymore  
  
~*~  
  
[I'll paint it on the walls]  
  
I'm free!  
  
['Cause I'm the one at fault]  
  
If only for a minute, I am free  
  
[I'll never fight again]  
  
I won't let him beat me anymore  
  
[And this is how it ends]  
  
This is the last time  
  
~*~  
  
[I don't know what's worth fighting for]  
  
I understand now  
  
[Or why I have to scream]  
  
There's only one way left  
  
[But now I have some clarity]  
  
The prophecy was right  
  
[To show you what I mean]  
  
I can't live if he lives on  
  
[I don't know how I got this way]  
  
The final battle is here  
  
[I'll never be alright]  
  
No!! You can't live without me, boy!  
  
[So I'm breaking the habit]  
  
And you cannot live without me  
  
[Breaking the habit]  
  
Avada Kedavra  
  
[Breaking the habit]  
  
"No! Harry! Professor! Professor, help! Harry, come back, please!"  
  
[Tonight]  
  
You will never live again 


	5. Somewhere I belong

Somewhere I Belong  
  
Author's note: This takes place when Lupin arrives at Hogwarts for the first time. He's young and bitter, knowing that his parents let him leave to be rid of him. He's a tad paranoid, which would be quite natural considering he's a werewolf.  
  
This was a request from Sarah, I hope you like it.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
[When this began]  
  
They look at me  
  
[I had nothing to say]  
  
They do  
  
[And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me]  
  
Don't look at them  
  
[I was confused]  
  
Don't ruin it  
  
[And I let it all out to find]  
  
Don't ruin this chance, this once in a lifetime chance  
  
[That I'm not the only person with these things in mind]  
  
All they really wanted was to be rid of me  
  
[Inside of me]  
  
Wanted to be rid of the freak  
  
[But all the vacancy the words revealed]  
  
I don't understand  
  
[Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel]  
  
No matter how many books I read, I never will  
  
[Nothing to lose]  
  
It's not fair  
  
[Just stuck/Hollow and alone]  
  
Why me?  
  
[And the fault is my own]  
  
All I wanted was to escape  
  
[And the fault is my own]  
  
Escape the screams  
  
~*~  
  
[I want to heal]  
  
It hurts so much  
  
[I want to feel]  
  
The scars ache for so long  
  
[What I thought was never real]  
  
They are looking  
  
[I want to let go of the pain I've held so long]  
  
Looking at my face  
  
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone]  
  
Please stop!  
  
[I want to heal]  
  
I know I'm pale  
  
[I want to feel]  
  
I know I'm skinny  
  
[Like I'm close to something real]  
  
I know I'm a freak  
  
[I want to find something I've wanted all along]  
  
Strange  
  
[Somewhere I Belong]  
  
Worthless  
  
~*~  
  
[And I've got nothing to say]  
  
Only two weeks left  
  
[I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face]  
  
The scars are not healed yet  
  
[I was confused]  
  
Not on the outside  
  
[Looking everywhere/Only to find that it's]  
  
Or the inside  
  
[Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind]  
  
Where will they take me?  
  
[So what am I]  
  
What will they do?  
  
[What do I have but negativity]  
  
How can they hide it?  
  
['Cause I can't justify the]  
  
Hide me?  
  
[Way everyone is looking at me]  
  
Why can't it just stop?  
  
[Nothing to lose]  
  
Why does it have to go on?  
  
[Nothing to gain/Hollow and alone]  
  
I can't take much more  
  
[And the fault is my own]  
  
I'm not strong enough  
  
[The fault is my own]  
  
I'm weak  
  
~*~  
  
[I will never know]  
  
He  
  
[Myself until I do this on my own]  
  
That boy  
  
[And I will never feel]  
  
Those boys  
  
[Anything else until my wounds are healed]  
  
They look at me  
  
[I will never be]  
  
What do they want?  
  
[Anything 'til I break away from me]  
  
What do they want?!  
  
[And I will break away]  
  
Please stop it!  
  
[I'll find myself today]  
  
Leave me alone!  
  
~*~  
  
[I want to heal]  
  
I don't want friends  
  
[I want to feel like I'm]  
  
I don't need friends  
  
[Somewhere I belong]  
  
It hurts so much 


	6. Figure09

Figure.09  
  
Author's note: This describes Snape's feelings when he becomes a Death Eater. In my fanon, he's already doubting and thinking of turning to Dumbledore's side, but he's not sure if he can do it without getting caught. BTW, I firmly believe that Snape was in love with Lily so the girl he's thinking about is her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
[Nothing ever stops all these thoughts]  
  
It's too late now  
  
[And the pain attached to them]  
  
Isn't it?  
  
[Sometimes I wonder why this is happening]  
  
I can't do anything to stop it  
  
[It's like nothing I can do will distract me when]  
  
Your eyes are like fires  
  
[I think of how I shot myself in the back again]  
  
They burn inside me forever  
  
['Cause from the infinite words I could say]  
  
They led me here tonight  
  
[Put all the pain you gave to me on display]  
  
Loured me into the trap you set up for me  
  
[But didn't realize]  
  
You knew this would happen  
  
[Instead of setting it free]  
  
Knew I'd come if you called  
  
[I took what I hated and made it part of me]  
  
Knew I'd do anything for you  
  
[It never goes away]  
  
But you're wrong  
  
[And now]  
  
I won't  
  
~*~  
  
[You've become a part of me]  
  
Eyes of fire on my naked skin  
  
[You'll always be right here]  
  
Shapes of fire formed in the darkness  
  
[You've become a part of me]  
  
The final step is taken  
  
[You'll always be my fear]  
  
I'm lost in you  
  
[I can't separate myself from what I've done]  
  
I can't go back now  
  
[I've given up a part of me]  
  
I'm marked  
  
[I've let myself become you]  
  
Forever marked  
  
~*~  
  
[Hearing your name]  
  
You will be the death of me  
  
[The memories come back again]  
  
I know that you're laughing  
  
[I remember when it started happening]  
  
Cruel laugh echoing inside me  
  
[I'd see you in every thought I had and then]  
  
Your promise is already broken  
  
[The thoughts slowly found words attached to them]  
  
I guess I knew from the beginning  
  
[And I knew as they escaped away I was committing myself to them]  
  
You will be the death of me  
  
[And every day I regret those things]  
  
I don't care anymore  
  
['Cause now I see]  
  
I will get my revenge one day  
  
[That I took what I hated and made it a part of me]  
  
You will be the death of me  
  
[It never goes away]  
  
The death of them  
  
[And now]  
  
Of her  
  
~*~  
  
[You've become a part of me]  
  
It hurts so much  
  
[You'll always be right here]  
  
The pain will never fade  
  
[You've become a part of me]  
  
The shame will never vanish  
  
[You'll always be my fear]  
  
You've cursed me  
  
[I can't separate myself from what I've done]  
  
I can't fight back  
  
[I've given up a part of me]  
  
I can't stand up to you  
  
[I've let myself become you]  
  
But I can lie  
  
~*~  
  
[Get away from me]  
  
I will lie my way out  
  
[Gimme my space back, you gotta just go]  
  
You will never know  
  
[Everything comes down to memories of you]  
  
They will never see  
  
[I've kept it in but now I'm letting you know]  
  
They are only drones  
  
[I've let you go]  
  
Mindless idiots with nothing to lose  
  
[Get away from me]  
  
Except their lives  
  
[Gimme my space back, you gotta just go]  
  
Survival of the fittest  
  
[Everything comes down to memories of you]  
  
They will not last  
  
[I've kept it in but now I'm letting you know]  
  
They cannot deceive you  
  
[I've let you go]  
  
But I can  
  
~*~  
  
[I've let myself become you]  
  
I carry the only weapon  
  
[I've let myself become lost inside these thoughts of you]  
  
I alone can defeat you  
  
[Giving up a part of me]  
  
I will show her I love her  
  
[I've let myself become you]  
  
I will make the mark fade 


	7. Author's note

Author's note: Just a response to "helping numnbnuts everywhere", I hope you read this. I never meant for Linkin Park's songs to be ruined, I know that the music is a large part of them, possibly even larger than the lyrics, but that is what I've been trying to capture. I write these fics with Linkin Park playing in the background and I would recommend the reader to do the same, it sets the mood.  
  
Of course you are entitled to your opinion but so am I. If you feel that I am ruining the songs then don't read, it's quite easy to avoid it, trust me.  
  
Those of you who have enjoyed my work, I'm keeping this up for as long as I can. Those of you who haven't, don't read this again and you'll forget it after a while.  
  
I hope you have a nice day, all of you  
  
Andri 


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